Hearing two recent news are deeply unsettling - Roshan, 21, stabbed in Mumbai local and Ketan killed by his fiancé and her lover, supposedly. While the sad news of a husband's murder during honeymoon trip, is still in my memory.
It really begs the questions, what is the state of a average man today? Men are in distress, period. The sad part is the fact it is largely unacknowledged by the mainstream. I bet, if one cannot identify with atleast 2-3 of these
- mounting financial burdens - loans, school fees, medical expenses.
- health issues - sedentary lifestyle, high cholesterol, obesity, heart-attacks in young people (gym goers too), you name it.
- work uncertainty - I don't think I need to harp on this. Everyone knows the current state and where it is headed.
- spousal discord - criticism, judging and woke-feminism. Where is peace, if not at home?
- societal expectations - keep a smiling face, be a man, should be the provider, show up for work.
- dependents - supporting and care giving to our children and elders. At one side, I hear sons abandoning elders and I loathe those. The other side, I'm preparing myself not to expect much from my next generation. Crazy times!
How are we supposed to carry on and what are we supposed to do? I don't think the stressors are going away anytime soon. To me, the end of the tunnel is far. I do not have any answers, and I'm as baffled by these events as you are. But I'm going to share the practices which I find helpful.
- Mental and physical fitness - nothing is above SELF well-being. Staying physically active is A fundamental thing, it elevates the mood and detoxes negativity. Best decisions are taken only when the mind is calm and balanced.
- Invest in yourself - do something that you love or like, develop a hobby, learn something, go trek if that's your thing. Channelize your energy positively. You need a fallback from your day job (when you don't have one)
- Don't take anything personally - actively avoid stressful situations. When they are unavoidable, do realize to look at them objectively as a 3rd person. Detach yourself. Generalize it, it could happen to anyone. If you like this one, read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book is wisdom!
- Forgive and forget (detach) - I took very long to imbibe this one. It is a gift to self to be able to forgive and forget the pain and the pain-creators. The more I think of 'it', the larger it grows and longer it lingers in me. That's why I need to let it go for MY inner peace. Bottomline is, revenge mentality harms oneself.
- Live a simple life - save as much as possible, invest, live 2 notches lower than your income permits. Financial freedom will keep you sane with a high head.
- Build meaningful relations - have few, even 1 if not more, caring and loving people around you. Friends or family. Nurture them. Sometimes you will get hurt, but forgive and forget, and continue to pursue them. Everyone is human. I read somewhere that certain locals in Japan live the longest and healthiest globally. A study was conducted which found - they still live in small communities and spend maximum time in chit-chats, gatherings and communal activities.
Maybe I went far with this. But these are the facts which trouble me. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I wanted to put them into words and bring them out. It is my belief that I'm echoing the thoughts of men, who would have pondered on recent violent incidents, but had responsibilities to attend to, and couldn't pen them down.
